Paintball : If Paintball Settled the Score

Recreational paintball players have known for a long time what most of us should. Sometimes it is just necessary to get out into the woods, run around like a bunch of lunatics, and try to take out the other team with as much messy paint as you possibly can.

“Lunatics” is really not the best description for the players, but the analogy represents the state of mind that the author has at least experienced with the sport.

Paint and Guns, hmm…

The paintball forefathers knew what they were doing. They took paintball dispensing guns and decided to play capture the flag. The first organized game of paintball was played in New Hampshire. The year was 1981, and the young men were onto something. A sporting goods retailer, a stock broker, and a writer put there heads together and decided to have a little fun.

Paintball guns, commonly called markers, were used originally by farmers and ranchers to mark trees and cattle. But wouldn’t they be much more fun if they were used to shoot other people? Of course.

The Paintball Experience

Everyone should experience the intense action of paintball at least once. Anyone can play. My first experience took place on a steamy, rainy day in July. Some friends wanted to get back at me for some stuff and cordially invited me out to the local paintball to play.

Trying to catch my breath and remove myself from the forest floor, I realized I was having more fun than I had in a long time. I was getting exercise, pushing the physical limits of my body, and enjoying some time with good fiends. After everyone ran out of paint and I ended up with the opposing team’s flag, we sat on a picnic table and reflected on the entertaining, yet exhausting afternoon.

Paintball Possibilities

That was ten years ago. But what could paintball do in today’s world? I thought of a couple of scenarios that could be settled in the arena. The one that doesn’t make it out has to suck it up:

• Couples paintball. All arguments would be forgotten in the interest of splattering high-speed paint on your spouse. Find out who really wears the pants!


• Disgruntled employees. Who wouldn’t want a crack at the boss? Just don’t let him see where it came from.


• Video store managers. Settle late fees where it really matters. If you lose, you pay double.


• Car accidents. Don’t exchange insurance information. Just meet at the paintball course.


• Teens and parents. Dad wants family time, here you go!

• World leaders. Settling foreign affairs with paint. Television sponsors would come out of the woodwork for this one. It might be bigger than the superbowl!